Complete Connection Parenting

Today we will discuss a very important function that child discipline and consequences does for you and your child. That is learning how to manage emotions.

People have lots of emotional shifts everyday. They can get angry, frustrated, upset and it happens frequently on a daily basis.

An adult who is mature knows to how to manage these feelings. He doesn’t react when he gets angry. He doesn’t react when he gets frustrated. He controls himself and finds ways to manage his emotions in a socially acceptable way.

Children are not like that. Children get angry and they react right away. They get frustrated and they act right away. They feel hurt and they react right away. Part of growing up and living in a society requires that you learn how to manage your feelings and to express them in a way that is not offensive, abusive, threatening, or aggressive to other people.

Child discipline through consequences can help you teach your child to do that. Your child must learn how to manage and control his feelings.

The natural response for a child when he gets hit is to hit back. When a child gets angry, he strikes out. That is not proper. You need to teach your child to find a more socially acceptable method of expression.

You can use child discipline and consequences to teach your child to find a different way of behaving. For example, if your child hits other children, you can develop a consequence so that he learns not to hit in the future.

How do you use a consequence as part of a child discipline strategy?

A consequence is a logical, thought out process that teaches new behavior and shows your child how to behave better in the future. It is connected to the behavior you are trying to change. By connecting the consequence to the behavior, you will be able to use it to teach your child to improve.

This is a mistake that parents often make. They don’t make this connection, which is why many times consequences don’t work.

I have a free video that will reveal to you the #1 mistake parents make when giving consequences. Go to http://ccparenting.com/discipline and you will learn how to avoid this mistake.

One of the most common complains that I have from parents is the problem of anger in children. Their  child seems to explode, blow up and cause all sort of problems at home, when they get angry.

One of the things we’ll discuss today is how we can tell if a child really has an anger problem, or is it something else.

The one indicator of whether a child has problem with anger is how often he gets angry. Does he get angry constantly? Is he always going off?  Do you have to run away and hide whenever he’s around because he’s going to explode about something? Or is this very infrequent?

If the anger is constant or very frequent and you have a problem of anger at home.  You need to determine what that problem is and what the source is. For example, could it be that your child actually has a problem managing his anger.  It could be something you’re doing to set their anger off. It’s very important for you to know what to do, what are the cause is in order to figure out what you should do to take care of this problem.

So with that in mind I’ve created for you a form you can fill out to determine the situation of anger in your home and what you can do about it.

The form is located at http://ccparenting.com/anger . You go over there and fill out the form. We’ll give you a quick analysis and you will be able to determine exactly how you need to fix the problem of anger in your home.

After his afternoon nap my almost three year old usually plays quietly for a while until we come to get him.

Yesterday after his nap he was playing quietly in his room for about an hour. When I went to get him he had taken off his dirty diaper, removed the contents and had painted the floor, the walls, and his bedroom furniture and himself brown.

How would you handle this?

This is what we did:

The first thing I did was to wake up my wife so that she care share the experience.

After we finished laughing (he was singing his little heart out while smearing the walls) we lifted him into the bathtub and soaked him until all the brown stuff came off.

He was at it a long time so there was a lot caked on. It took a while to get the smell out of him. Then my wife started cleaning up the mess.

I dressed him, took him downstairs and had him make his dinner. (Yes, my two year old makes his own dinner sometimes.)

Then we called my mother to tell her that finally someone in the family has outdone me. (When I was his age I used to get up a 6 am and go downstairs and butter the furniture.)

Then we read stories and played ball until my wife was finished cleaning.

What would you have done?

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