Complete Connection Parenting

One of the most common complains that I have from parents is the problem of anger in children. Their  child seems to explode, blow up and cause all sort of problems at home, when they get angry.

One of the things we’ll discuss today is how we can tell if a child really has an anger problem, or is it something else.

The one indicator of whether a child has problem with anger is how often he gets angry. Does he get angry constantly? Is he always going off?  Do you have to run away and hide whenever he’s around because he’s going to explode about something? Or is this very infrequent?

If the anger is constant or very frequent and you have a problem of anger at home.  You need to determine what that problem is and what the source is. For example, could it be that your child actually has a problem managing his anger.  It could be something you’re doing to set their anger off. It’s very important for you to know what to do, what are the cause is in order to figure out what you should do to take care of this problem.

So with that in mind I’ve created for you a form you can fill out to determine the situation of anger in your home and what you can do about it.

The form is located at http://ccparenting.com/anger . You go over there and fill out the form. We’ll give you a quick analysis and you will be able to determine exactly how you need to fix the problem of anger in your home.

After his afternoon nap my almost three year old usually plays quietly for a while until we come to get him.

Yesterday after his nap he was playing quietly in his room for about an hour. When I went to get him he had taken off his dirty diaper, removed the contents and had painted the floor, the walls, and his bedroom furniture and himself brown.

How would you handle this?

This is what we did:

The first thing I did was to wake up my wife so that she care share the experience.

After we finished laughing (he was singing his little heart out while smearing the walls) we lifted him into the bathtub and soaked him until all the brown stuff came off.

He was at it a long time so there was a lot caked on. It took a while to get the smell out of him. Then my wife started cleaning up the mess.

I dressed him, took him downstairs and had him make his dinner. (Yes, my two year old makes his own dinner sometimes.)

Then we called my mother to tell her that finally someone in the family has outdone me. (When I was his age I used to get up a 6 am and go downstairs and butter the furniture.)

Then we read stories and played ball until my wife was finished cleaning.

What would you have done?

Please add a comment.

Today I want to discuss with you how consequences and discipline change your child’s behavior. First, you need to understand why your child chronically misbehaves; that is, why he continually does certain things wrong.

The reason is very simple to understand. When a child misbehaves on a regular basis, it is because he finds what he is doing is working.

For example, let’s say you child has a problem with another child in school. The other child teases him. Your child can react many different ways. He can react is by smacking the other child, by beating him up, or by intimidating him.

Any of these approaches may insure that the child will not tease him again. If this happens, your child will learn that using intimidation or physical force can solve his problems.

What this means is that your child has stumbled upon a socially unacceptable way to solve a problem he is facing. If he gets away with behaving this way, your child may test the use of intimidation or physical force in other challenging situations. If he continues on this path he will adapt this approach for other problems and may eventually become a bully.

One thing you have to understand is people always choose the easiest path to solve problems. If your child is doing a bad behavior consistently, it is because that he finds it works to get him want he wants. You use consequences and discipline to change that.

What you have to do is use consequences as part of your child discipline strategy to show your child that there are better behavior options. You use consequences to make the appropriate behavior a better and easier option to follow.

For example, if your child curses or talks back, and this is a frequent problem, it is because he found talking back and cursing work for him in certain situations, like when he is angry. You use consequences to teach him that when he is angry it is a better option for him to go to his room and cool off.

That is how consequences are supposed to work. What usually happens is something quite different. Parents punish their children or give a consequence and either nothing happens or the child becomes resentful and behaves even worse. This is because you are using consequences incorrectly. If you do not use consequences correctly, you will not change your child’s behavior.

I have created a video for you that is going to explain to you why that is. In this video I discuss the #1 mistake parents make in giving consequences and what you can do to avoid this mistake.

Go now to:

#1 Child Discipline Mistake Video .