Today we are going to discuss the number one reason why children, and even teenagers, do not listen to or follow directions. It is very common, so common, especially with ODD, ADHD, and kids with other learning disabilities, to not listen to us as parents. The real reason why they don’t listen to us is because they don’t understand what we are telling them. They do not understand the instructions they are being given.
It is very common with young children because young children have a small attention span. We forget that and give too complicated of instructions to them. Older children also may not follow what you are telling them.
So, if you are having trouble with your child not listening to you, misbehaving, not following instructions, and not doing what you asked; the number one reason is that they don’t understand what you are telling them. So the first thing that you have to do before anything else happens is make sure that your instructions are clear. Be sure that your oppositional defiant disorder child understands exactly what you are saying. One of the best ways of doing that is to have him or her repeat back to you what you said.
Have them say what they are supposed to be doing. Once they say it back to you, you will know they understood.
Again, this is a very common problem and parents do not realize that their odd adhd children don’t understand and that this is why they are misbehaving. I have seen it time and time again with my own children and with older children also. So you have to be very aware that this is a major problem. This probably really shouldn’t be a problem, because it is not your child’s fault. Your odd or adhd child just does not understand.
You as the parent can take down many of the problems in your house by just making sure that your child understands. Just make sure that the instructions are clear and that your child repeats back the instructions.
This is Dr. Anthony Kane with the Complete Connection Parenting Program.
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