Most parents worry about their child being bullied. It comes as a great surprise when they learn that their child is the aggressor, not the victim.

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What do you do if this happens to you? Here are four tips:

1-Don’t Panic:
Recently the media has given a lot of attention to the problem of bullying. This hasn’t done a lot to help the problem, but it has caused bullies to be demonized. Treat bullying like any other behavior problem. It is something that needs to be corrected. It does not indicate that your child is evil has criminal tendencies or is even a bad kid. He needs redirection.

2-Refocus his self-esteem:

In general, bullies don’t have low self-esteem or deep down hate themselves. It is usually the opposite. They are natural leaders who have yet found an appropriate way to channel their inborn talents. You can help him by getting involved in activities where he can take the lead. This will allow him to express himself in a socially acceptable way.

3-Teach your child empathy:
Empathy is the ability to feel the pain of others. Children have a hard time doing this, but it is never too early to start.

Ask your child questions about his interactions with others that will get him to think of the other person’s point of view. Have your child volunteer for a group that helps the less fortunate. Discuss his experiences there.

4-Demonstrate power:
Children wrongly equate force with power. Bullies want to have power, which is why they use force over others. However, true power is being in control of yourself. It is not yelling when you are frustrated or angry, not being irritable when you are tired, and not letting your down moods affect they way you treat others.

Demonstrate power at home. Show your child that you have have self control.

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    Anthony Kane, MD
      P S Please leave a comment because I would really like to get your reaction to this.

        If you would like to have a quick step-by-step plan on how to end your child's difficult behavior forever and your child is between the ages of 2 and 11:

          Please go to:

          How to Improve Your Child's Behavior

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