Today I want to discuss what to do when your children fight with each other. Now, here is a common mistake that many parents make. When the children are fighting, parents try to decide with who is right and who is wrong. Then they try to get involved to solve and end the conflict. This is wrong! It’s a bad idea!
When your children are growing up they are in a safe situation in which to learn certain skills that you need for the rest of your lives. One of the skills they have to learn is how to resolve conflicts with each other and with peers. This is one of the benefits of growing in a family with children. Children frequently bicker and fight over various objects in the house and they have conflicts of interest. Children need to learn how to resolve these conflicts.
Your job, as a parent, is to teach them how to do that by letting them do that. You must let them work things out by themselves.
The other problem with getting involved in your children’s battles is this. When you get involved in the conflicts of your children and try to resolve the conflict and the battles they are having, whatever they are fighting about becomes unimportant and the battle switches to who can get you on his side. That is a bad situation, all around!
And really, the truth is that if your children are fighting, then they are both wrong. There is no way you can pick out who is right or wrong because they are both making a mistake. They are fighting and fighting is wrong. Your job, as a parent, is not to get involved in your child’s conflicts. You must let them resolve their arguments by themselves. All you should do is just stand on the side to facilitate this process if they get stuck and make sure the argument doesn’t get too out of hand.
