Today we are going to discuss a problem the parents have; a mistake they make in parenting when they give discipline or a consequence and their child reacts poorly? The child explodes or the bad behavior gets even worst.
One of the things parents often do is that they keep on increasing the punishment. So what happens is this. The child does something he gets a punishment. The child reacts with worse behavior. Then the parent gets angry or upset and increases the punishment. Then the child acts out even more.
The situation keeps on escalating until a child ends up getting a very, very sever punishment, way above what was necessary for the original infraction.
So this is a mistake. It’s a very big mistake!
Parents get caught in this trap all the time. As a result they become angry with their child and angry with themselves.
What you want to do instead? When you deliver a consequence or discipline your child you need to disconnect and walk away from the situation as soon as possible. If you disconnect, then it can’t get worse with the child.
But, if you get caught up in a battle with your child, things may just escalate out of control. Many times what happens is you go so overboard and you so get upset and angry that you give punishments which you regret giving in the future and then you back down.
And that is a parenting disaster! You just don’t want to do that!
So the best thing to do is not to get caught in this situation at all and give a consequence or give a punishment. When your child reacts badly you walk away, disconnect or disengage from the contact and by doing that you can avoid making this problem.
The source of this problem is getting angry. And usually when the parents get angry it’s because they get over involved with their children and they take it all very personally. Many a times, parents have a problem managing their anger, particularly anger regarding their children.
What I’d like to do is give you help with that, we have on our website, a form to help you evaluate your anger situation in your home. It’s located at http://ccparenting.com/anger . Go there, fill out the form and we’ll give you an anger analysis right away. And you’ll quickly see if you have an anger problem and what to do about it.
