Today we are going to discuss the appropriate way to give consequences.

Before starting, I want to express to you that consequences are a necessary part of parenting; however, should be a very small part of parenting.

I know a number of parenting programs out there that focus solely on consequences. That is all they care about and some parents are looking to do only that one thing. I understand this prescription online viagra, but I also know the parents who enroll in my programs are looking for something further. One of the most common comments we get is that parents tell us they do not need to punish their children anymore.

This is because when you work through relationships prescription online viagra, you set up situations with your child so that the good behavior is going to happen automatically. You no longer need consequences. This should be your parenting goal.

However, there will inevitably be a need for consequences.

This is how you should deliver the consequences. First of all, whatever punishment or consequence you had should be an outgrowth of the behavior. It should be related to the behavior. Second and above all, the end of the consequence, if it is time related, should be related to the improvement of the behavior.

Let me clarify what I mean in an example. I will use my own personal experience, as I still have problems with my three children at times.

Yesterday, my young son rode his bicycle without wearing his helmet, even though he had just been told to wear his helmet. He told me that he forgot, which is very common for kids to say.

As a result, one consequence would be to say, “okay, so you rode your bike without your helmet on, you are not going to get dessert tonight.” The problem is that this in no way related to riding a bicycle, and is therefore not an appropriate consequence.

A more appropriate consequence, which is what we did, is to say, “okay, you rode without your helmet, then you can’t ride your bicycle for a five days”. That is a better way of giving consequences because the consequence is related to the behavior.

An even better way is to relate the lifting of the consequence, not the five days, but to say until the child shows you that he/she can behave properly. For example, the child did not ride his bicycle with his helmet on, so he cannot ride his bicycle until he shows you for three days that he can listen and be responsible.

We, as parents, have to define what that means. So for him it means listening the first time, not talking back, going to be without an argument, or whatever other types of things we want him to show he is listening to his parents.

This way you tie the consequence not only into the incident that happened to cause the consequence, which is what consequence really means, but you also tie in the lifting of the consequence with the improvement in the behavior you are looking to instill.

It should be specific. It should be something the child understands, can do, and be measurable. Not talking back for three days is a great example. Once the child talks back, he loses, but he understands what not talking back means.

It should not be that the child behaves good for three days, this is too vague. It has to be concrete and measurable.

Today we are going to discuss how important it is to be clear, precise, and direct when giving orders or instructions to your child.

There are two reasons for this.

Number one: The basic reason is because your child has to be able to comprehend what you are saying. If you are clear, precise, and direct it is much more likely your child is going to understand what you are asking.

Number two: More important is that you are the authority figure in your home and with your children. You must behave that way. People in charge or with authority are very clear with their orders. People who feel less confident about their authority will be more vague or indirect about what they are asking.

An example of the wrong way to do it is as follows. It is nine o’clock at night, your child is supposed to be in bed, and he is playing a video game. You go up to him and say, “Bobby, it is nine o’clock, you know the rule Bobby you are supposed to be in bed – don’t you think you should turn off the video game now? It is time to go to bed”.

This is very indirect. It shows a lack of confidence on the part of the parent.

The proper way is to say, “Bobby, nine o’clock, the video game needs to be turned off, and you go to bed, now”. Very straight, video game goes off and in bed now. This way shows much more confidence. You must have confidence in your authority as a parent because you are the authority figure in your home and your child must see this.

It is for your child’s benefit. – purchase Viagra

Purchase cialis online without prescription: a recent survey conducted by Cyber Sentinel found that on the average, of the 31 hours a week teenagers spend on line, they use 8 hours to browse pornography, cosmetic surgery, and family planning sites.

The survey, which studied the browsing habits of 1000 teenagers ages 13-19 showed that teens spend about 87 hours a year on pornography sites.  Teens also spend almost the same amount of time on weight loss and diet sites.  They spend slightly less time on plastic surgery looking up things like breast enhancements and bum lifts.

Also, a third of these teenagers admit that they erase their browsing records so that their parents won’t find out where they have been.

One of the more alarming findings is that one fourth of the teenagers admitted to regularly speaking with strangers online, and felt that to do so is completely harmless.

Keep in mind, that the study surveyed only teens.  It is quite like that younger children ages 10-12 have very similar browsing habits.

Does this study disturb you?

Given this information, what if anything do you feel that we as parents need to do?

Should we put limits on how our children use the Internet?

Does it bother or concern you that your child may be in contact with strangers online?

Please share your comments and concerns.

Warmly,

Anthony Kane, MD

Follow me on Twitter:  http://twitter.com/akanemd

ODD Child Program

ODD Teen Program