Parenting ODD Children: Teaching Social Skills

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Today we are going to discuss how to help your child develop better social skills.

Many children with ADHD or Oppositional Defiant Disorder or other behavioral problems or learning disorders have trouble with social skills; meaning they have trouble relating to friends, they have trouble keeping friends, they behave inappropriately in situations. There is a very good reason for this.

Children with these learning problems or behavioral problems have trouble globalizing what they have learned from other places. Generally speaking, a child learns how to behave properly by observing those around him. He sees what other people do and then applying what he learns to new situations.

Children with ADHD or ODD or learning disorders have trouble taking observing what happens in one situation and applying it to a new situation. They have trouble globalizing what they learned.
What you as a parent have to do is teach them how to do this. The way you do this is by preparing them ahead of time for new social situations.

Let’s say, for instance, your child has trouble keeping friends. What you would do is have him invite a friend over and you prepare him before hand how he should behave with a friend. He should offer his friend something to eat or drink. He should prepare which toys he wants to share and you prepare him how to behave with a friend properly.

You do not just say ‘play nicely’ because he does not know what that means. In very detailed ways, you prepare him before hand.

You want to teach your child manners. Let’s say you want to go out to a restaurant. Let him order for himself and say ‘please’ to the waiter and ‘thank you’ to the waiter. You coach him before hand on how to handle himself.

Tell him ‘you say this, you say that, you say please, you say thank you and you smile and make eye contact with the person’.

What you are doing is teaching your child in every situation how to handle common social situations. In this way, your child will learn how to develop better social skills.

Again, there is nothing wrong with your child; he is not a bad person. He just has not learned how to take what he sees in one situation and apply it to a new situation. That is where you as a parent come in. You teach them how to behave in new situations.

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One Response to “Parenting ODD Children: Teaching Social Skills”

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