How to Get Your ODD Child or Teen to Cooperate

The most important thing that you can do to get your child to comply with your wishes is to build up your relationship.
Defiant Child Disrespectful Child
Children have a natural desire to please their parents. This is true when they are young and it is also true when they become teenagers. Even adults have a need and desire to gain approval from their parents.

You can use what nature has given you as a way to help your child to do what you ask.

Get ADHD and ODD
Teen Behavior Help

for children 12 and older

Now, if your child or teen wants so much to have your approval, why is it that he just won’t listen?

The reason is that other factors get in the way. For an ODD child or difficult defiant teen probably the biggest reason they defy adults is that they resent the subordination they feel toward the adult. They just don’t want to be dominated by anyone and they won’t take orders no matter how much sense it makes and even if it is for their own benefit.

For an ODD child or teen, the issue is who is in control, and almost everything else is secondary.

With such a child, getting them to obey is a major task. You can’t make them do anything. The more you try, the more they will fight you.

So how do you get such a child to listen to you?

You can’t force your ODD child to obey you. But you can get your ODD child to want to obey you.

You do this proactively, by developing and using your relationship.

Developing and strengthening a positive relationship with your child has numerous benefits:

  • You will be happier
  • Your child will be happier
  • You will enjoy your time together much more
  • You will reduce the amount of fighting and arguing
  • Your child will be much less likely to get into serious trouble.

The key to handling a defiant child or teenager is not discipline or control. It is using your natural relationship created through the parent child bond to get your child or teen to want to comply willingly.


    Anthony Kane, MD
      P S Please leave a comment because I would really like to get your reaction to this.

        If you would like to have a quick step-by-step plan on how to end your child's difficult behavior forever and your child is between the ages of 2 and 11:

          Please go to:

          How to Improve Your Child's Behavior

          6 Responses to “Oppositional Defiant Disorder: Getting Cooperation”

          1. Andrea Jordan Says:

            Thanks Dr,

            I cannot afford this course. my son is so mean, rude antisocial, selfish that his aunt threw away all his trousers. today he says I am poor thats why he cant enjoy his holiday, even if one ignores him he will jump up in ones face, His auntie has since changed her number I do not have one for her he is sooooo selfish and then he starts crying. I really cannot bear it as I am in the process where money is very tight of trying to build a business.. any way thanks

          2. Deborah kotkowski Says:

            My son is 11yrs old he will be 12 in June next year. I might buy your program. It’s very interesting. Thank you for giving me information about adhd and odd

          3. A.S. Says:

            Completely correct. I agree 100% that’s the ONLY way with an ODD. And also that is the correct way to establish all our relationships with everybody. Nobody (even yourself) like to be under control or under threats of anybody, why would he like to?

          4. Theresa Says:

            I agree and think your info is very helpful. I would love this program, however I am a single mother with two kids who are ADHD, DD, and MDDD-it is very challenging some days, and I can’t afford it. Thank you for all your information you share

          5. sheri marcus Says:


            I cannot afford this class. My daught has always had ODD since she was 4. My husband and I split up last year. I tried everything for her, I took ODD/ADHD classes, tried repetition things with her, a chart, but never got backup with my husband . That is what I needed all along. After we separated, my ex brainwashed my kids against me had a gf, so now my kids don’t talk to me. My daughter who has ODD is horrible to me, ex buys her everything so does his gf, except for love…I feel so bad for her..(I think she is horrible to him and gf) I want so bad for her to get theraputic help (the right school, camp that can help her) she is going to a counselor for 2 years, who dosen’t seem to help her, my daughter has so much anger issues, tantrums, cursing, I am so concerned about her and how she is going to turn out. My ex is very manipulative and controlling person. There is nothing I can do, and feel helpless. Thank you for listening to me.

          6. Liness Says:

            Thank you Doctor, my son is 18 years, I think your advice on how to handle teens will benefit both of us mother and child


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