Oppositional Defiant Disorder: Getting Cooperation

Child Behavior, Parenting, Teenagers Add comments

How to Get Your ODD Child or Teen to Cooperate

The most important thing that you can do to get your child to comply with your wishes is to build up your relationship.

Children have a natural desire to please their parents. This is true when they are young and it is also true when they become teenagers. Even adults have a need and desire to gain approval from their parents.

You can use what nature has given you as a way to help your child to do what you ask.


Now, if your child or teen wants so much to have your approval, why is it that he just won’t listen?

The reason is that other factors get in the way. For an ODD child or difficult defiant teen probably the biggest reason they defy adults is that they resent the subordination they feel toward the adult.

They just don’t want to be dominated by anyone and they won’t take orders no matter how much sense it makes and even if it is for their own benefit.

For an ODD child or teen, the issue is who is in control, and almost everything else is secondary.

With such a child, getting them to obey is a major task. You can’t make them do anything. The more you try, the more they will fight you.

So how do you get such a child to listen to you?


You can’t force your ODD child to obey you. But you can get your ODD child to want to obey you.

You do this proactively, by developing and using your relationship.

Developing and strengthening a positive relationship with your child has numerous benefits:

  • You will be happier
  • Your child will be happier
  • You will enjoy your time together much more
  • You will reduce the amount of fighting and arguing
  • Your child will be much less likely to get into serious trouble.

The key to handling a defiant child or teenager is not discipline or control. It is using your natural relationship created through the parent child bond to get your child or teen to want to comply willingly.


For an easy step-by-step plan to build your relationship with your child and end your child’s difficult behavior forever,

For children 2-11 go to

Child Behavior Help



For children 12 and older

Go to:

Teen Behavior Help

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