Today I want to discuss the issue of the importance of disassociating yourself emotionally or disengaging emotionally from your child.
Let me explain what I mean by that.
Your child is a child. He is going to misbehave, he is going to do things wrong, and it’s our tendency, particularly mothers, to get very emotionally wrapped up and involved in what our children do.
It is a natural tendency to do that. But that is not really good for you or the child. Your child is going to do things wrong. All children do things wrong.
You have to know to disengage yourself and disassociate yourself from the child’s behavior; not your child, you still love your child, you’re still very close to your child.
But the behavior is not your child. The behavior is something he is doing and he is learning to behave appropriately and grow up. So you have to not take it personally, not get emotionally involved, not get sucked in emotionally when your child misbehaves.
Treat it like you are in the Army, for instance. When the Lieutenant or officer gives an order, the Private carries it out. There is no emotional involvement, attachment, direction for giving orders, it is a matter-of-fact type of thing.
Treat your child’s behavior in the same way. The child does do something, you tell him he does it, he does or doesn’t do it but it’s not a reflection upon you, or your authority, or anything like that.
It is important to do it this way because when you get sucked in emotionally, the issues become not the child’s behavior but your anger, you are upset and that takes precedence in your child’s mind.
When you are angry it will limit your authority and it does not teach your child better behavior.
