Today I want to discuss with you child discipline and using consequences to set and enforce limits.

Children need limits. It is very clear they need limits. First of all, children are not mature enough to handle themselves properly in the world. That is why they live at home with you.


A child needs to be told what to do and when to do it, until he develops the maturity to keep himself safe in certain situations.

A child without limits will go out and stay out all night. He will go to dangerous places. He will get involved in dangerous things.

Your job as a parent is to protect your child and keep him out of trouble. One of the ways you do that is by using limits.

How do you enforce these limits? You use child discipline. Consequences are part of an overall child discipline strategy to help you to enforce limits that you set.

Your child will try to test your limits. Believe me, this is normal. Every child tests limits. It is part of growing up.

You need to have a consequence in place to discourage your child from testing your limit and to let him know that your limit is a real barrier.

It is critical your child understands their limits, because the world is full of limits. It is full of things he cannot do. There are rules and boundaries.

For example, your child can’t go onto someone’s property, because he wants something. He can’t take something from other people, because he wants it. He can’t speed in his car, because he wants to. There are limits. It is part of living in society.

Your child has to learn that limits are real, limits are important, and limits are part of getting along with everybody else in the world. You use consequences to teach this lesson.

Many parents find that their consequences are not effective. Often their children don’t seem to care.

I made a video for you which shows the #1 mistake that parents make when giving consequences. This mistake is the main reason their consequences are not effective.

You can get access to this video right away!

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Child Discipline

Today I want to discuss child discipline using consequences; specifically what child discipline or consequences can accomplish.

Let’s differentiate between child discipline and punishment. Punishment does not change behavior. You cannot punish your child into behaving better. We see that in our prison system.

Effective child discipline though consequences accomplishes a change in behavior. The advantage that child discipline has over punishment is that a consequence includes a teaching experience. Children act out and misbehave because they don’t know how to handle the situation they are in.

When that happens you need to teach your child how to respond to the situation differently. You can do this through child discipline, specifically through the effective use of consequences. You use child discipline to encourage your child to improve his behavior in the future.

For example, if your child is angry, he will strike at somebody, he will yell, or he may say a curse word. That is the best response he can come up with when he is upset.

By assigning a consequence as part of your child discipline intervention, you teach your child a new response.

“When you are feeling angry or upset and you want to curse, go to your room and don’t curse.”

If he does not go to his room, you give a consequence for cursing. This gives your child a choice. He can stick with his old inappropriate behavior, i. e. cursing, and get the consequence. Or he can incorporate the new behavior and avoid the consequence.

When the situation comes up again, he can either reflexively curse or he can go to his room and cool off. Your child discipline through the consequence encourages him to do the latter and to improve his behavior and make a permanent behavioral change.

For effective child discipline, your consequence must include with it a teaching experience to show your child how to behave better. Failure to do this is one of the mistakes that parents make when trying to correct their child’s behavior. Thus, most parents approach child discipline by giving a negative reinforcement, which is so many parents have trouble getting their children to behave better.

Again, if you just learn these secrets of how to give consequences effectively, you will find it is quite easy and quite effective, and you will have your house turned around in no time.

Today we have a special video for you that you can get to help reveal to you the #1 mistake that parents are making when giving consequences and it is free for you today.

Just go to http://ccparenting.com/discipline and you will get that video right away and you’ll find the #1 mistake parents make.

What should you do when your child says he or she doesn’t care. What I am talking about is when you are disciplining your child by taking away a privilege and he says “I don’t care”. What do you do about that? Parents find that extremely frustrating!

There are a couple of ways to approach this problem.

First of all, your child probably does care. If you remember when your child was small and you punished your child or took something away, they cried and screamed about it and you could tell that it bothered them.

As children get older, they don’t want to let on that you are getting to them. They don’t want to let on that they have lost or they are being beaten down or being controlled by you. They are going to feign and pretend that they don’t care.

Your child probably does care. For example, let’s say your child lives for the cell phone and talks to her friends all the time. Your consequence is that she loses her cell phone for a period of time and she says, “I don’t care”. Well she probably does care! She just doesn’t want to let on.

There are other possibilities. Maybe she doesn’t care and there could be a couple of reasons. First of all, when you give a consequence, if you give it just as a time-based punishment such as you are grounded for a week or you lose your cell phone for a week, you are not giving your child any way to correct the problem. Basically, you are giving a punishment and as we know, punishments do not correct faulty behavior. They don’t improve behavior at all. They don’t really do anything positive.

A correct consequence gives your child the opportunity to end the consequence by correcting the behavior. A consequence teaches your child how to behave better in the future. That is the second thing.

The third possibility is that your child really doesn’t care. The way you can tell that is with the cell phone example we are using, she stops thinking about the cell phone and gets involved with something else. When that happens it becomes clear that the loss of her phone really doesn’t bother her. Then you know you picked the wrong consequence.

If your child really doesn’t care, you need to pick something else. There is always something you can find that the child cares about. That is how you deal with the problem, use child discipline in a wise way when disciplining your child… in other words give an appropriate consequence that he cares about.

I have for you a video that shows you the one most serious mistake that I have seen in the last 5-6 years that parents make throughout the world when giving consequences to their children.

This mistake destroys their ability to use consequences effectively and it is pretty close to universal. I have seen it in every country and I have seen it with most people I have talked to throughout the world. I am giving you this video to show you how to correct that problem.

Please go to http://ccparenting.com/discipline and you will get to see this video right away.

Today I want to discuss child discipline, particularly the difference between consequences and child punishment.

Very briefly, punishment as we all know is retribution. You are getting a punishment for doing something wrong. This can be is a smack, slap, or something that you give to your child as negative reinforcement.

A consequence is entirely different. A consequence is the natural outcome of the incorrect behavioral choice your child made. For example, if your child is late for the school bus, the natural consequence is that he leaves for school 10 minutes early so he makes the bus.

If your child is late coming home or late for dinner, the natural consequence is he must come home a half-hour earlier than he did before. It is the natural consequence growing out of the child’s behavior. The consequence is connected to the behavior.

When you connect the consequence to the behavior, you encourage your child to make a positive behavioral change. He connects what is happening to him as the result of a mistake that he made. It makes sense in his mind and he learns to avoid the negative consequence he needs to develop a new pattern of behavior.

To accomplish this, you must deliver the consequence correctly.

For example, if your child was staying out late, it is not a natural consequence to take away video games. A better choice would be to have your child come home at an earlier time until he shows you that he is responsible enough to come home on time.

That is the basic difference between consequences, which you might want to call child discipline and child punishment. It is very important you understand the difference between consequences and punishments because punishments don’t really work. They do not change behavior. Consequences do.

Your job as a parent is to help your child to behave better and grow up to be a respectful and successful adult. You must help him to get over these behavioral hurdles and change his behavior. That means using consequences effectively as part of your child discipline strategy rather than using punishments.

I have for you a video about the #1 problem parents have when giving consequences and the mistakes they make and what you can do to correct that. It is located at http://ccparenting.com/discipline . Go there right now and you can see the video.

So maybe it wasn’t 45 years, but I have had any number of parents contact me for advice about consequences, specifically what to do when they went a little overboard.

The usual pattern is their daughter does something wrong and they give a punishment. The girl talks back and the mother increases the punishment. The girl says she doesn’t care and mouths off again and the thing just escalates until you have the teenage girl grounded for the entire summer.

After everything calms down, the mother feels rotten because she overreacted. But what is she supposed to do now? If she backs down then her punishments don’t mean anything. If she follows thru then she is being cruel.

This is a tough spot for a parent to be in.

If you’ve been there you know what I mean. If you haven’t been there yet, this is some place that you really don’t want to go.

Over the past year we have researched and uncovered a number of mistakes that parents make when giving consequences or disciplining their children or teens.

I would like to share with you my secret for how you can avoid the Biggest Mistake that parents make when punishing their children.

You can see the video now for free.

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Biggest Mistake