Comments for Complete Connection Parenting Community Blog

Comment on Defiant Children-Getting Your Child to Obey by Natalie Suepaul

Natalie Suepaul — Tue, 01 May 2012 17:33:16 +0000

I like this approach. I never really thought of it in this light and I can see the benefits of it in the sense that it prevents further arguing, hostility and aggravation. It also prevents both parent and child from saying other comments that may be hurtful or even more damaging.

Comment on Defiant Children-Getting Your Child to Obey by Charles

Charles — Tue, 01 May 2012 17:07:34 +0000

You have a different approach here Anthony. Instead of trying to win an argument or force control, there is a subtle defusing of the tension, by affirming authority with that one simple word. There might still be mumblings and rumblings, but the authority has been maintained.

It is a great strategy for not loosing one’s cool as a parent, because it keeps one thinking about what one says and not following emotions. Also to be able to say that part before the “and” one has to listen.

Comment on Defiant Children-Getting Your Child to Obey by Patrick McMillan

Patrick McMillan — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 20:26:04 +0000

Great approach!! I specifically like that it keeps us from getting stressed and loosing control of the situation. But also at the same time letting our child know we hear them and we understand their complaint or concern, and it deserves attention, but it can only be addressed when we are not in a angry or frustrated mindset.

Thanks Anthony!

Comment on Taking Control by Rachelle

Rachelle — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 03:10:23 +0000

There are other ways to go about having a stronger, more loving relationship with your child than this. This approach will get them to do what you need them to do. If that is all you want to have with your child, then go this route. If you follow your heart, your heart will tell you that there is more going on. The child is a human being who isn’t feeling engaged by homework or school and has dreams and goals and a sense or wonder that goes beyond institutional learning. Think out of the box and see that you can journey alongside your child without sqashing their sense of self worth. It never has to be control over. You don’t have to do what was done to you growing up. You can be courageous and experiment with new things that feel higher than this as they allow everyone to flourish…. everyone’s needs can be met. You can be a loving guide on the side that naturally commands respect through your radience and love of life. This is the most fulfilling path one can imagine. I’m doing it. So can you.

Comment on Your Child and the ‘F’ Word by M Jacobs

M Jacobs — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 15:44:01 +0000

I agree with Dawn. We don’t curse in our home. I monitor all tv. I monitor the computer. I monitor his ipod touch. I even deleted some apps and restored it after he jail broke it with a friend.. We are a Christian Family and it doesn’t matter to him and hasn’t since he started 7th grade.. F this F that, what the F. He is almost 15. We have disciplined almost to an illegal point, since this foul language started, see some improvement after saying no to many requests, but still comes back like a tick. Hormones and fitting in in school can play in on it a bit. I am searching for answers too.. Could be he will grow out of it, or not.

Comment on Taking Control by Cindy DeMarco

Cindy DeMarco — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 18:30:11 +0000

Thankyou, what I learned from this video as well as the other video’s worked quite well for mine and my boyfriends son, who was DX with ADHA, ADD and ODD, improved our relationship. A lot more work to go because I can’t get his parents to get involved. From watching your videos he and I are starting to form a respectful relationship. I am his primary care taker, both of his parents work so he is with me here at his fathers home more than he is with him. They have shared custody. This is hard for me, I have Multiple Sclerosis, Fibromyalgia, sleep Apnea, Insomnia and severe sciatic pain. You can figure the rest. He is eight yrs old and my heart goes out to him. He does not understand why he is the way he is. I want to explain to him about his condition but his parents won’t let me and would rather put him in therapy. I think they also need therapy. What you are doing is a blessing to all parents and their children with these problems. Please make a video to let the parents and caretakers of these children know if they should or not explain to their kids about what they have to help them understand and learn how to control their behavior. He asks me all the time if he was good.

Comment on 10 Ways to Have More Responsible Children by Wausi Walya

Wausi Walya — Sat, 07 Apr 2012 04:52:56 +0000

This is helpful, my son wanted an expensive gift for his cousins birthday, I was only willing to spend so much and when he realized I wouldn’t bulge, he sulked, when I asked if he would like to top up with his pocket money he declined! So I reckoned to him, it’s easier to spend my money, not yours, now he knows better!

Comment on How To Make Your Limits Work by Cindy Darco

Cindy Darco — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 02:49:06 +0000

I am disabled with MS and Fibromyalgia, 54yrs old and female. I care for an 8 yr old, my boyfriends son. He has shared custody with his sons mother. I have him in my care more than the two parents put together. Their son has ADHD, ADD and ODD, he is 8 yrs old and gifted accedemically.
He treats me worse than I would allow anybody to treat me even my own children. I have been in a lot of pain and a two yr relapse since I moved in to help. His father and I raised my two children for 13 yrs. his Father is an alcoholic and his mother, I believe, is Bipolar. This child is everything you have described about these disorders and more. His parents threaten and never follow through, they yell at him all the time, he takes temper tantrums and gets his way, he lies and tells his dad that I hit and beat him and calls me a liar, his parents always make excuses for his behavior. They have read some of the material that you emailed to me. Neither have time to read about his problems instead he takes Ritaln and they are starting therapy sessions on April. Well you know how that works, he will learn to threaten them with lies he will tell his therapist not realizing the damage he could do to his parents and me. He will learn how to play his therapist and others like a fiddle. I’ve seen it happen too many times when children play the abuse card. I am stick and would love to use this program to help him be a productive adult, you see I have come to love him very much and want my family to be happy. I have no money and I appreciate the info you emailed, it works for me and has reduced my stress level a bit. As soon as his father comes or is home he is like he ibecomes possessed, just a little joke. I have no control over this child because he tells me everyday that I am not his boss and goes about doing what he wants and even raises his fist or tries to trip me when nobody is looking and calls me a list. TY for all of your help.

Comment on Oppositional Defiant Disorder: a Better Treatment Option by Lori Stefanizzi

Lori Stefanizzi — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 02:45:51 +0000

Enjoyed the article, totally describes my son, however he became especially difficult in the last year at the age of 16. He has ADHD as well, but has been showing oppositional defiance, extremely, in the past year. I know he has been using marijuana often and he says that he does so to ease his anxiety. I have been asking him to go to his doctor to get on anti anxiety meds, however, he refuses. He seems to think that marijuana will help him more. I basically try to disengage with him because any time I try to talk to him he becomes confrontational. I feel that he needs to be on his own and learn by his mistakes. I fine living in our house is stressful.

Comment on 7 Powerful Ways to Show Love to Children by Bek

Bek — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 23:30:14 +0000

In all the business of life we forget to stop. This is a good reminder to be purposeful in our life, in letting our children know we love them. Good article, thanks.