- Proper measures must be taken to ensure that [children] shall be tactful and courteous in their address; for nothing is so deservedly disliked as tactless characters. —”The Education of Children,” Plutarch, A.D. 110
Children are immature. As such they behave in an immature fashion. That means you cannot expect them always to be “tactful and courteous”. If you try to make them behave that way, you will frustrate yourself, frustrate them, and destroy your relationship.
- I will also advise his feet to be wash’d every day in cold water, and to have his shoes so thin, that they might leak and let in water.… It is recommendable for its cleanliness; but that which I aim at in it, is health; and therefore I limit it not precisely to any time of the day. —”Some Thoughts Concerning Education,” John Locke, 1693
There is no discernible health advantage of having cold wet feet.
But let mothers deign to nurse their children, morals will reform themselves, nature’s sentiments will be awakened in every heart, the state will be repeopled. —”Emile: or, On Education,” Jean-Jacques Rousseau, 1762
I am not even sure what this is saying. However, it sounds like Rousseau is condemning nursing.
For the record, nursing is the best way of nourishing your infant…period. Anyone who feels it is beneath her dignity to care for her child the best way possible should just stick with owning a Poodle.
- Even very little children are happy when they think they are useful. “I can do some good—can’t I, mother?” is one of the first questions asked….Let them go out with their little basket, to weed the garden, to pick peas for dinner, to feed the chickens, &c. —”The Mother’s Book,” Lydia Maria Child, 1831
Okay, so it took some 1800 years, but finally here is some very good advice. You want to empower your children. The best way to do this is by allowing them to do things. We have had our children as young as 2 years old help with washing the dishes. This is a great self-esteem builder.
- Babies under six months old should never be played with; and the less of it at any time the better for the infant. —”The Care and Feeding of Children,” L. Emmett Holt, 1894
This is not just bad advice, it is criminal.
Studies show that babies have such a need for love and attention, that if they don’t get that attention they die. You should play with your baby as much as you possibly can.
Never hug and kiss them, never let them sit in your lap. If you must, kiss them once on the forehead when they say good night. Shake hands with them in the morning. Give them a pat on the head if they have made an extraordinary good job of a difficult task. —”Psychological Care of Infant and Child,” John B. Watson, 1928
Same as above. If you want your child to be healthy do the exact opposite of what Watson recommends.
The more people have studied different methods of bringing up children the more they have come to the conclusion that what good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like doing for their babies is usually best after all.
Furthermore, all parents do their best job when they have a natural, easy confidence in themselves. Better to make a few mistakes from being natural than to do everything letter-perfect out of a feeling of worry. —”The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care,” Benjamin Spock, 1946
I have frequently heard reference to Dr. Benjamin Spock as the man who destroyed an entire generation. In the late 1960’s, Norman Vincent Peale said of Spock that “the U.S. was paying the price of two generations that followed the Dr. Spock baby plan of instant gratification of needs.”
In this particular quote, Spock gives great advice, provided that what you do naturally as a parent is the correct thing.
What is most natural to parents is to raise their children the way they were raised. So if your parents never got angry, gave you firm but loving limits, gave you all the attention you needed, built your self esteem, and were all around perfect parents, then Spock has great advice for you. Being a great parent will be natural for you.
Of course, if you’re naturally a great parent you probably won’t be looking for parenting advice.
However, if your parents ever had stress, expressed anger or frustration, ignored you, or fell short in any area of parenting, which is essentially everybody, then what comes naturally to you may be destructive for your child.
The other problem with this advice is that it presupposes that the world is basically the same as it was the last generation. In 1946, this might have been true. However, today the world is changing so rapidly and the challenges you face as a parent as so different than your parents faced raising you, that if your parenting style feels natural to you, it is almost certain you are missing something.
ANNOUNCEMENT: The average college education today costs about $80,000 for state colleges and up to $200,000 for private universities.
Next week we are holding a private, by invitation only teleseminar on how to send your child to college without having to mortgage your home or assuming ten years worth of debt.
And you are invited.
This teleclass will be held next Thursday. I am still working out the details.
Here is my recommendation:
Unless you regularly earn about $10,000 an hour, the hour you spend on this call will be well worth your time. Also, even though we have not officially announced this class we are already half full.
So I suggest you do the following:
1- Go to:
And ‘Like’ this page.
That way you will be on the early announcement list and be able to get a spot.
2- Read the post entitled: Financing College- 3 Myths that are Costing You Tens of Thousands of Dollars This is the last post I made on this blog.
3-Please leave a comment below